Ten Reasons Why Tropical Islands Are Actually Not The Best

1. Home engulfed in fiery lava
2. Torrential downpours that may occasionally sweep you out to sea
3. Tiny ants suddenly everywhere, like, say... on your bed
4. Many other non-tiny insects, possibly also ready to appear on your bed
5. Various sealife looking at you like, "No, mofo, I am actually NOT interested in communing with you"
6. Occasional remnants of old white colonialism, like that "historic" building over there
7. Continual reminders of modern white colonialism, especially when on an actual colony
8. * Sudden awareness that you are one of the items in #7
9. * Insistent messages from the gods that it is time for you all to GO HOME NOW before they REALLY get angry
10. Overpriced dry goods

* not applicable to native islanders or descendants of slaves